My Clothing Disorder

Some people have personality disorders, some have eating disorders; I have a clothing disorder.

I used to try to be somewhat trendy. I had a job and could go shopping when I wanted and there was no one trying to pull accessories off me all day long.

Then came the children. Dresses and skirts went out the window when I started spending 80% of my day on the floor. I tossed purses left and right since there was no room to carry one anymore. Coordinating sandals were dropped off at Goodwill and I adopted a uniform of crop pants and t-shirts.

Now I've rediscovered sweatpants. Not those velour ones from Dillard's or athletic ones from Academy, but good old-fashioned Hanes Her Way sweatpants. Have you tried these? They're so warm and soft and cheap and you don't have to wear a belt, and as of last Monday, I was seriously considering buying five more pairs and calling my wardrobe complete. What's not to like about an article of clothing you can sleep in and then wear out to the mailbox?

Then I went to Old Navy. (Disclaimer: I *know* that Old Navy is not the height of fashion for most 30-something year old mothers, but I haven't held a job in over five years, so I don't get too dressy.) There were racks and racks of cute sweaters and even a coat I liked. I stood there with one eye on Jack kicking a soccer ball through the kids' section and one eye on the women's area and started rethinking the sweatpants. I finally left with one pair of jeans--for Alice.

This weekend I have to go to a Christmas party. The invitation calls for "festive holiday attire." I'm not sure anything in my closet could be called "attire," so I dragged the kids to Kohl's this morning and ended up with a purple sweater to wear with my black pants. I also bought a belt, only to discover that my pants don't have belt loops. I am hoping they hang okay, because few things make me grumpier than baggy pants. Anyway, I have been bugging Jay about what I should wear for the last two weeks, while he hasn't given a thought to what he will wear. I, on the other hand, have been wondering why I haven't found a place to get my eyebrows done since we've moved and worrying that after Saturday night I will be known as "that weird wife."

The good news is that I found tow new non-baggy pairs of jeans at Kohl's, so at least I can comfortably continue down the middle of the fashion road--with just a few swerves back and forth along the way.